What kind of Jewish home do you want to build?

You do not need to fit a label. This asks about the life you want, not how observant you are.

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Why “how religious are you?” is the wrong question

Almost every Jewish dating product asks you to place yourself on a single line from secular to Orthodox. The problem is that the line does not describe anybody accurately.

You can keep a strictly kosher kitchen and drive on Shabbat. You can go to synagogue three times a year and feel that marrying Jewish is completely non-negotiable. You can be shomer Shabbat and indifferent to Israel, or secular and deeply attached to it. You can have grown up with none of it and want all of it for your children. One label cannot hold any of that.

Three questions per area, not one

Across twelve areas — Shabbat, holidays, food, community, learning, raising children, family traditions, hospitality, Israel, ritual, cultural background and flexibility — this tool asks three separate things:

What you do now. Honestly, not aspirationally.
What you want your home to be. These are often different, and that is normal.
How much difference from a partner you could live with. This is the question nobody asks and everybody needs answered.

The gap between now and wanted is the useful part

A lot of people discover, filling this in, that they want a home noticeably more traditional than the one they currently keep. That is worth knowing about yourself before you are two years into a relationship with someone who assumed your present was your plan.

It also changes who fits you. Someone who currently keeps more than you but is comfortable with a partner growing into it may be a far better match than someone whose present practice looks identical to yours but who has no intention of changing.

What you get back

A written description of the home you want, a list of what you would not give up, a list of what is genuinely flexible for you, and the things most worth raising early with someone you are serious about. There is no percentage and no denomination assigned to you, because neither would be true.

This describes; it does not rule Words like kosher, observant, and Shabbat mean different things in different communities, and this tool uses them descriptively. Where a real question of Jewish law or status is involved — including anything affecting a wedding — that belongs with your own rabbi.

If you complete a private matchmaking profile, this becomes the core of how Jewish compatibility is considered — comparing the future each person wants rather than how observant they are today.