How matching actually works
No compatibility percentage. No soulmate score. Here is what the system actually does, and where a person takes over.
Five things get checked. Then a person reads it.
1. The things that cannot bend
Some differences are not compatibility questions, they are arithmetic. Whether each of you wants children. Whether your age ranges include each other. Whether either of you is dating toward marriage at all. Whether the distance between you is something you have each said you could live with. If one of these fails, the pair is not put in front of anyone.
2. Life compatibility
Timeline to marriage, children, geography, how central work is, how involved family is, and openness to a partner who has been married or has children.
3. The Jewish home each of you wants
This is the part most systems get wrong. JLov does not reduce Jewish life to a single religiosity score and then match people who scored the same.
Instead, across twelve areas — Shabbat, holidays, kashrut, community, learning, raising children, hospitality, Israel, ritual, cultural tradition and more — we ask three separate things: what you do now, what you want your home to look like, and how much difference from a partner you could genuinely live with.
Matching compares the future you each describe, not your current level of observance. Someone who drives on Shabbat but wants a more traditional home can be very compatible with someone who already keeps more and is comfortable with gradual change. Two people who look identical on paper today can want completely different homes. Difference is not a problem. Unspoken difference is.
4. What you said you actually prioritise
Everyone says everything matters, so the priorities exercise makes you narrow twelve traits to seven and then to three. Your top three carry real weight in matching. Things you did not prioritise are not treated as if you had.
5. Relationship style
A short set of plain-English questions about social energy, follow-through, how you handle disagreement, and how much contact you like. These use established personality dimensions, described in ordinary language. They are not a diagnosis, they do not produce a type, and they never reject a pair on their own. They flag things worth asking about — for example, when one person wants to resolve a disagreement immediately and the other needs to step away first.
6. Nazila
Everything above produces a shortlist and a written summary of what supports the pair, what might create friction, and what is still unknown. Nazila reads it and decides. No introduction is ever made automatically.
How an introduction happens
- Nazila contacts one person
Something close to: “Nazila may have someone worth considering. Would you be open to hearing more?” Nothing identifying about the other person is shared.
- If they are open, the second person is contacted
Same message, same privacy.
- Only once both have said yes
Agreed information is shared with each side, and the introduction is made.
- Afterwards, we ask how you would like to proceed
Your honest feedback goes to Nazila and stays there. Negative feedback is never forwarded to the other person.